THE STORY

Once upon a time, there was a black man named Eddie Murphy. He was a comedian and he jumped off a cliff and died. His mother was very sad so she strangled herself to death. There were no survivors.
But this story is a bout a whale named Robert who liked to climb trees in his spare time. One day he climbed the Greatest Tree in the Forest and he met a magical man at the top who wouild grant him three wishes. First, Robert wished for diamonds. The man made a ten-thousand pound diamond fall from the sky. It split Robert, the tree, the ground, and the core of the earth In half. Robby was, to say the least, pretty dead. He wasn’t entirely dead because he was just almost dead which is different.
His second wish was for the old man to, quote unquote, “go to hell”. The old man went directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. “Oh goody!” said the constable. “ I do believe that means I have won!” The constable’s wife was very upset. This was her seventeenth time in a row losing Whales and Old People Monopoly , and she was fed up. She divorced the constable and left to go marry her brother. This is in medieval England, you know.
Anyway, Then the President signed the Monroe Doctrine forbidding anyone not wearing a strand of garlic to fight vampires. Then there was a book called Twilight which some people called “The Most Important Book in the World(Even more than the Bible)”. However, there was a man with a plan. His name…was Jesus.
Jesus’s plan was to destroy every copy of Twilight in the world so that the Bible would once again be the only book in many households instead of just Twilight. Jesus gathered all of the flamethrowers, hillbillies, and doctors he could and they set out to burn every copy of Twilight they could. And they would have gotten away with it too, but one boy got in their way…he was…The Boy who Lived…to read Twilight.

lmao
That made my day.
NOW FER SUM TETRIS

Ya I know. I was in Jesus's party
unfortunetly, Jesus forgot to delete or erase all data of Twilight so they started reprinting.
We almost succeeded.... T.T

This cased the rise of the powerful Twilight empire. thei main capital, known as the Twilight Zone, spread its influence throughout Middle Earth and played very uncanny music. The country soon became a continent, it was a black shroud that engulfed anything that could feel, hear, smell, taste, or see; except for blind people, they were exempt.
Finally, through the combined efforts Sauron and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Edward was quickly disembowled. The empire fell fast smashing into the ground as it caved in. In its wake it left the Grand Cayon. It is a desolate place where my best friend Joe died. He attempted to jump his unicycle over the Canyon last fall and missed the other side. He bounced off many walls suffering only a minor headache. He finally smashed into a Pterodactyle and exploded at the bottom. He is now remembered as the man to discover the last living Pterodactyle and the first man to even DESTROY one. This commercial was brought to you by Hershey's.
They would like to announce their new streamline product, the Sith Bar. Using small amounts of HCL and a random amount of Nitroglycerine, it will give you an amazing experience ranging from a small tingle on your tunge to your house exploding. Hershey takes no responsibility for any damages to your nose.
And neither will this man, Dytkis. He was once of Irish origin but found out that when he moved to America no could pernounce his name (Will). So, he changed it to Dytkis and on the way learning that it is not always right to help ladies across the street. As the last one he help, turned him into a newt for no reason. Don't worry... he got better.
But that was before the rise and fall of the Twilight empire. From the ashes of that forsaken nation rose two countries Iran and Iraq. They were quickly destroyed, but their destruction brought for a post apocalyptic land. This barren wasteland that spand about a couple feet was filled with hate and violence. But one man remained, and with him was a revered book. The book, called the Book of Eli, held the secrets of old and possessed a power greater than a Hydrogen bomb, but not more than a super-mega-ultra chicken.
Once revered as the most power creater alive, it was forbidden to summon it for any reason. However, one lone shaman acheived the impossible, he blew up into confetti. But his friend did the unspeakable, therefore i will only write it. He summon George Stalin. An abonination that combined George Bush with Stalin. George took the powerful country of the Picairn Islands and created a Communism-Democracy hybrid, known as the Dumb System. The result of such a system summoned the super-mega-ultra chicken who prceeded to destroy the entire world.

and then the chicken fell in love and moved to a new dimension

why in the begining did jesus just not ask the boy to whis the twilight books away and the saved documents and meer memory of it and then give him eternal happyness in the begining


yah that would [wow]work[/wow]

Chris you suck at spelling

Once upon a time there was a kid who couldn't come up with a witty or amusing tale to post for this topic so they came up with this insetad. The End.

I'm going to start a story and you guys can all finish.

Once upon a time there was a girl named Bella Swan and she was in love with a vampire named Edward. Suddenly something horrible happened! It was... *you finish! make your own ending!*

...Buffy the Vampire Slayer who barged into Edwards house and staked him through the heart. It was an amazing day and there was much rejoycing. A statue was erect in Buffy's name as well as the nation "Edward finally died!" day.
Oh what a great day. I celebrate it with cookies and Sith bars.

ending to story:

then bella realized that this dumb ugly chick named kristen stewart was posing as her. so she killed her and ate her. then had all of her babies because bella is a lesbian. edward got jealous so he married his brother and they took over the world and killed everyone who liked twilight including themselves
then the world was normal and happy and had nothing to with twilight because its rediculous.

ohh and yes nigel
that story made my day as well xD
it was fantastic
you should write me a book

then Chef from south park jumped out from the alley and started singing

he started singing dont stop believing by journey!